Journey to Future Freedom

Tag: family

  • 2025 Reflections and what is to come.

    We are ow a couple of weeks into 2026 and I decided it was time to have a look at the Year that was.

    There was a lot of learning and growth made in the year.

    I spent a lot of time getting our finances in order reviewing them and making changes and this means that going into the New Year we are pretty much set up. It certainly takes the pressure off feeling as though the processes that we have in place are finally working for us. As long as we stick to the budget. I love budgeting and being frugal and this is something I would like to share more with others. How this will look I am not sure.

    This year the focus is on building our investment accounts with a future view on being able to make changes to our lifestyle over the next 4 to 5 years.

    A bathroom renovation is on the list and will be the only major spending this year.

    I spent much of my time last year reflecting on things that had happened in the past and processing how this has shaped me and the decisions that I have made. I have decided to leave this in 2025 and move forward. We make decisions with the knowledge that we have at the time. As long as it is the best decision in that moment then that is all you can do. I am refusing to stress this year. It literally changes nothing and it steals the moment. The only thing that changes a situation is action.

    I did very little exercise last year and so this year I am focusing on my health and wellbeing. Exercising and getting my body moving and stronger. Our diet last year was meh. Too many takeaways and not enough fruits and vegetables. We are focusing on what we put in our bodies and how they react to that. Trying to educate the children on what they put into their bodies as well.

    Last year felt like a rush. I want to slow down and keep things very simple this year. I want to spend more time writing, reading and cooking and making sure that I am enjoying the moment when doing them.

    We have just had three weeks off work and I feel as though we did very little with the time off. We achieved a few things that were on our list but I really missed the family holiday that we usually take and creating memories. So thins year we will definitely be planning a holiday somewhere.

    In regards to our business the plan is still to walk away in about 4 years time. So every decision that we make will be with that in mind. This year will be about thinking about what we want to do with our time after that and looking at what we need to do to make those things happen.

    Goodbye 2025 you were a busy but good year. Here’s to 2026 and all the things to come.

  • “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

    ― Søren Kierkegaard

    I have no idea who the person who said this is or was. Feel free to educate me. But wow lately I have realised there is nothing truer than this statement.

    I have found myself embracing what I can learn from my past. There have been many years where I felt bitter, disappointed, upset by things that had happened. Wondering why they happened. Annoyed at myself for decisions that I had made.

    I would wake up at an hour where people should only be asleep and go over these things in my head. Over and over, the thoughts would overwhelm me until I finally feel asleep again…most probably a few minutes before the alarm went off.

    Through this journey I have found myself letting go of the past. I still have a long way to go but I have been looking at it through a different lens. It is so easy to get wrapped up in our own version of what happened, another persons role. But we rarely stop to consider a different version of the past. I look at my childhood and lately have attempted to view it from the perspective of my parents, or my sister.

    I had a conversation recently with my younger sister about the day she found out she was pregnant with her first, she was 23 if I remember correctly.

    I remember the day clearly. She told me she thought she was pregnant and asked me what I thought she should do. I said buy a test and find out so off we went to the local shopping mall. She took the test in the toilets, found out she was pregnant and we then went at sat in our local coffee shop for an hour figuring out how to tell Mum without her hitting the roof.

    I thought that I had done a good job of being excited for her, as we had been trying for a couple of years and had had two miscarriages. I was excited for her and for our family. Long story short, she told Mum and yes she hit the roof. To her credit she came down within a few hours and proved herself to be a wonderful grandmother with patience we certainly didn’t see when we were young.

    My sisters perspective on the day is very different. She was terrified of not being pregnant but of my reaction, as I was the one married and trying for children. She thought I would be upset and disappointed, she was correct I obviously had those emotions but it was not with her just the situation. Our lens were different as they should have been.

    There is so much to be understood and learned from the past but it certainly isn’t worth dwelling on or regretting. Take the learning that you can and move forward with life.

  • Home is what you make it!

    I have never been a cleaner. Don’t get me wrong our house is tidy and cleanish but definitely not sparkling.

    Well lately it is!

    It seems the simpler I make life and the more I delve into my future freedom journey the cleaner my house gets. It probably helps that I am drinking less or nothing at all and so I have replaced some of the hours spent drinking with cleaning but this has never been the case in the past.

    It’s a weird energy that seems to have come about and I now cannot tolerate the mess or dirt and I feel a satisfaction out of making it look nice. The odd thing is I see dirt in places that I didn’t see it before, however I am sure it was there.

    I have always led a minimalistic life. Lots of things and mess have always increased my anxiety and I learned at a fairly young age that the less things you owned the less mess that could be made. Although I do feel my daughter defies this logic. She could make nothing messy I swear. Anyway I have always loved throwing things away in fact in the past I have been known to throw something out rather than clean it. Don’t judge me!

    I am now questioning whether there is a relationship between the clarity that I am finding as I progress through this journey and my want to keep things nice. I am aware of the financial benefits of looking after things as they are obviously going to last longer.

    That being said, I am now separating my whites from my darks and soaking items so that they come up cleaner. I cannot put this change down to education as I already knew that I should do these things I just was either too lazy or figured I didn’t have time.

    I think the deeper change is that I have learned that I want our home to be a place where we want to be. A place where we feel content and our brains can rest and re-cooperate. A place that we want to go home to everyday. A place my children want to return to. A place free of the hair from three big Rotties, haha.

    I know I always wanted this but I didn’t think that cleaning and organising had that much of an impact on it. I have learned that the reality is if home is a disorganised mess then so is the atmosphere in that home. We need calm and organised and things to be nice so that we all feel that way too.

    I have an inkling about what is happening but I want to delve a bit further into this journey and develop a bit more confidence before going further into it.

  • Alcohol….reasons I’m giving it up!For Good!

    I have been toying with this idea for at least the last ten years. I have known since our children were young that my relationship with alcohol would be described as dysfunctional.

    I don’t drink everyday and there have been periods of time over the years where I’m have not drunk for months or weeks but I’m always go back to it and once I pop out can’t stop.

    I grew up with an alcoholic father. It didn’t really affect my life hugely as he was not nasty or violent. He was just a drunk that had nothing. The kindest drunk I knew. When I was 21 he went into liver failure and ended up giving up alcohol. He received a new liver and managed 10 more years of life before dying of cancer. I’ve seen first hand the toll alcohol can take on the mind and the body.

    But back to me. My reasons. There are so many.

    My daughter hates me drinking and as she gets older it is starting to have an impact on our relationship.

    It is definitely affecting my health. In the past five years I have put on 15kg mostly in the form of calories from wine.

    It steals my motivation. Five years ago I was running half marathons and playing with the idea of running a full. Now I’d be lucky if I could run to the end of the road.

    It steals my time. I do things while drinking but not well. The time I spend drinking in the evenings could definitely be used doing other things. Running maybe.

    I’m literally flushing money down the toilet. It is so expensive. I hate to think how much money I have wasted over the years. Thousands!

    So it’s time for change. I know it won’t be easy but I set out this year to find freedom and this is definitely going to be freeing. I’m excited to see what it will look like

    “I officially NO LONGER DRINK ALCOHOL!”

  • Budgeting…

    I had a recent conversation with a colleague and was blown away when he said he had no idea how much money he spent in a week. Back info he is a single male. I declared, “But you must know!” He said no he would have no idea. He just takes his pay check pays bills and spends the rest.

    This alone nearly gave me heart palpitations. I have a budget. To be honest it is one of the things I really enjoy doing each week(call me geeky). Some weeks it’s frustrating but most weeks I love seeing just how far we can stretch the money. We don’t live week to week, nor month to month. I budget based on annual expenses + 5% and I review this every monthish based on what we have coming up. We have sinking funds an emergency account and additional savings accounts. We are not wealthy but we are comfortable.

    I have trouble sleeping if I feel as though we are not prepared for the unknown. So it totally blew me away that he was so blase about how he spent his money. I think the frustration came from the fact that he often complains he will never be wealthy or have anything. I felt like shaking him and saying, “Do you realise how much you are wasting each week?” His opinion, life’s short it’s not worth worrying about.

    Luckily his finances are none of my business nor worth me stressing over but it did leave me thinking. What is the difference between him and I? Is it education? I often think about the legacy that we will leave for our children and Grandchildren but he has a child and Grandchild so it isn’t that.

    I know that I have always been interested in budgeting and how I can make my money grow with little effort on my part and because of this interest I have educated myself and spent lots of time reading up on these things.

    I feel as though a budget is a necessity and should be it’s own subject at school for at least one Semester. We wouldn’t have savings without a budget as it would all just disappear into the oblivion that is life.

    Do you budget or do you wing it ?

  • It’s a birthday Week!

    It is birthday week. Miss 12 is turning 13. The house will officially be full of teens. We make a big deal of birthdays in our house. It is a privilege to get older as so many don’t. So the day is yours to choose how you want to celebrate within reason. If you have school then you are still going plus I think it’s great to see your friends.

    So what are we doing to celebrate. She has selected dinner at a local pub with family. Simple and easy.

    I’d like to say it ends there but no she wants a party and since we haven’t done a party for a few years we gave in. Ten girls and a scavenger hunt around the local district, oh and she wants it to be a surprise for her too so I need to plan the whole thing. Just Yay!

    So here I am at working writing out clues with little activities in between. I’m really delving into the part of my brain that was a teacher many years ago and reminding myself that, “I have got this!”

    Hubby asks what I am doing and as I remind him a look rolls over his face, he is working this Saturday. For crying out loud, how do I get myself into these situations? Well 10 girls and me in my 7 seater is just not going to work( Not to mention the two rear seats are unusable as the puppies have eaten through the seatbelts).

    A mayday call to my Mum has been made and she is now going to drive the three hours to help me out of the pickle I am in.

    Am I going to be able to pull this off? Who knows but there will definitely be the reward of wine at the end of it all.

  • No Winners, No relaxing, some weekends are just like that…

    I can confirm the shit show eased. The boys all returned safely with a very average fish each to weigh in. No prizes were won. I remained the Secretary even though I didn’t want the job any longer. The weather remained overcast and dull.

    The hilarity of the weekend was caused by Miss 12.My daughter and I watched Happy Gilmour 2 and on the boys return we decided to venture to the pub for dinner. There was a League game on and so the pub was fairly busy. As the lovely waitress bought us our meals balancing them on her arm Miss 12 decided to demonstrate the Golf Swing out of the movie. Somehow that waitress managed to capture the flying plate as it was knocked out of her hand, save the burger and only a few chips landed on the floor.

    Miss 12 was so embarrassed and the boys gave her shit about it for the rest of the night. No harm done…thank goodness.

    As we travelled home on the Sunday, Hubby and I reflected on the weekend. It was good, but it wasn’t great. We didn’t feel rested, relaxed or like we connected with friends. It was an odd feeling. We were grateful for the quality time with the kids and friends but we felt it had lacked the usual fun. Probably a reflection of the crazy week we had leading up to it. I felt as though I needed a weekend at home to recover from the weekend away. Sometimes it’s a bit like that and that is okay.

  • 20% Planning 80% Execution

    I have always been a planner. I can make the numbers work out beautifully on paper or I can come up with itinerary that has the best intentions. However, I really fail on the execution!

    I have come over the past year to realise that the planning means jack shit if you don’t put it in practise and consistently.

    Let’s use saving money on takeaways as an example. It’s easy to cook every night for a week but then kids sports go later than planned, and one of us ends up working late and you find yourself thinking, “We will just stop for something on the way home.” It is such an easy trap to fall into. Then you think oh I’ll do better next month, but next month comes and the same thing happens.

    Well I put a stop to this!

    First thing I did was load the freezer with easy meals. You know the ones that are ready in 20 minutes, require very little cooking and best of all no thought! Tacos, Nachos, Soups, burger patties. This meant that I no longer had time as the excuse.

    The second thing I did, was point out that if we purchased takeaways then effectively one of us had worked late for “NOTHING” Lets say we spent $80 on takeaways, easily done for a family of four in NZ. Then the 2 hours working late had been completely in vain. Nothing more degrading than hubby walking in the door and me saying, “Welcome home, here’s dinner that you just paid for with the past two hours of working . It isn’t worth it!

    Gone are our days of takeaways- I think it’s been a good three months since we had them. Or so the kids keep telling me. Although I have noticed they have pretty much stopped asking. I prefer now to eat out on a special occasion where we can have one on one time together with no devices .