Journey to Future Freedom

Category: Blogs

  • Why did I choose a Friday?

    What was I thinking when I decided to stop drinking on a Friday…The one day of the week that I have almost always had a drink. I definitely can’t say that it was an easy weekend.

    I have had weird cravings for things that I have never wanted before. I bought myself a can of ‘V’. I haven’t had an energy drink in probably 20 years but felt I really wanted it. The first mouthful was nice but then I struggled my way through the rest of the can. I won’t be buying that again.

    It got me thinking about my alcohol drinking. The first glass is always lovely but after that I just keep drinking it because it is open and I have no self control.

    My sleep has been terrible, although a sick dog really added to that. So I can’t really assume that that is the fault of not drinking, They say you sleep better when you don’t drink so I am hoping that my sleep will improve over the week.

    I need to find some things to occupy myself in the evenings. I have about three books I have started and not finished so I will begin there. But I will happily take on suggestions- No crafts please.

    Hopefully the 5pm cravings die down soon.

  • Alcohol….reasons I’m giving it up!For Good!

    I have been toying with this idea for at least the last ten years. I have known since our children were young that my relationship with alcohol would be described as dysfunctional.

    I don’t drink everyday and there have been periods of time over the years where I’m have not drunk for months or weeks but I’m always go back to it and once I pop out can’t stop.

    I grew up with an alcoholic father. It didn’t really affect my life hugely as he was not nasty or violent. He was just a drunk that had nothing. The kindest drunk I knew. When I was 21 he went into liver failure and ended up giving up alcohol. He received a new liver and managed 10 more years of life before dying of cancer. I’ve seen first hand the toll alcohol can take on the mind and the body.

    But back to me. My reasons. There are so many.

    My daughter hates me drinking and as she gets older it is starting to have an impact on our relationship.

    It is definitely affecting my health. In the past five years I have put on 15kg mostly in the form of calories from wine.

    It steals my motivation. Five years ago I was running half marathons and playing with the idea of running a full. Now I’d be lucky if I could run to the end of the road.

    It steals my time. I do things while drinking but not well. The time I spend drinking in the evenings could definitely be used doing other things. Running maybe.

    I’m literally flushing money down the toilet. It is so expensive. I hate to think how much money I have wasted over the years. Thousands!

    So it’s time for change. I know it won’t be easy but I set out this year to find freedom and this is definitely going to be freeing. I’m excited to see what it will look like

    “I officially NO LONGER DRINK ALCOHOL!”

  • Budgeting…

    I had a recent conversation with a colleague and was blown away when he said he had no idea how much money he spent in a week. Back info he is a single male. I declared, “But you must know!” He said no he would have no idea. He just takes his pay check pays bills and spends the rest.

    This alone nearly gave me heart palpitations. I have a budget. To be honest it is one of the things I really enjoy doing each week(call me geeky). Some weeks it’s frustrating but most weeks I love seeing just how far we can stretch the money. We don’t live week to week, nor month to month. I budget based on annual expenses + 5% and I review this every monthish based on what we have coming up. We have sinking funds an emergency account and additional savings accounts. We are not wealthy but we are comfortable.

    I have trouble sleeping if I feel as though we are not prepared for the unknown. So it totally blew me away that he was so blase about how he spent his money. I think the frustration came from the fact that he often complains he will never be wealthy or have anything. I felt like shaking him and saying, “Do you realise how much you are wasting each week?” His opinion, life’s short it’s not worth worrying about.

    Luckily his finances are none of my business nor worth me stressing over but it did leave me thinking. What is the difference between him and I? Is it education? I often think about the legacy that we will leave for our children and Grandchildren but he has a child and Grandchild so it isn’t that.

    I know that I have always been interested in budgeting and how I can make my money grow with little effort on my part and because of this interest I have educated myself and spent lots of time reading up on these things.

    I feel as though a budget is a necessity and should be it’s own subject at school for at least one Semester. We wouldn’t have savings without a budget as it would all just disappear into the oblivion that is life.

    Do you budget or do you wing it ?

  • What do you do when you don’t like your job but you can’t leave?

    We own a collision repair business…so you crash your car we fix it. I kind of landed in it when the business started to grow. I left my job as a teacher and came to work with my husband and I am now the admin person. It’s been this way for 10 years now.

    Surprisingly we get along really well 99% of the time and the 1% is usually caused by outside influences. Working together is fine although I would love at the end of the day to ask, “How was your day?” and not already know the answer. It would be great to add to the list of things we get to discuss.

    The problem lies in the fact that neither of us really like the job. I am not a lover of cars and never have been. There is also the fact that the customer that comes to you has crashed their car or someone else has and therefore they are in a slightly heightened state of emotion over it already. Insurance companies take their time. Parts take forever to get to NZ if they are overseas and I am generally the bearer of shit news for the customer. Which I cop it for. I get that! But the reality is…I didn’t crash the car. I am the one trying to help get it fixed.

    There are very few decent staff available in our industry and therefore this limits the amount of work you can get through and creates a world of problems in itself. When you have shit staff you have a hard time getting rid of them and when you have great staff you feel constantly pressured to keep them happy.

    So where does this leave me. Sadly I have bills to pay and I feel kind of stuck so I guess the only way forward is an exit plan? It needs to be fairly solid as it’s not like one of us is walking away from a job we both are….
    What would you do?

  • It’s a birthday Week!

    It is birthday week. Miss 12 is turning 13. The house will officially be full of teens. We make a big deal of birthdays in our house. It is a privilege to get older as so many don’t. So the day is yours to choose how you want to celebrate within reason. If you have school then you are still going plus I think it’s great to see your friends.

    So what are we doing to celebrate. She has selected dinner at a local pub with family. Simple and easy.

    I’d like to say it ends there but no she wants a party and since we haven’t done a party for a few years we gave in. Ten girls and a scavenger hunt around the local district, oh and she wants it to be a surprise for her too so I need to plan the whole thing. Just Yay!

    So here I am at working writing out clues with little activities in between. I’m really delving into the part of my brain that was a teacher many years ago and reminding myself that, “I have got this!”

    Hubby asks what I am doing and as I remind him a look rolls over his face, he is working this Saturday. For crying out loud, how do I get myself into these situations? Well 10 girls and me in my 7 seater is just not going to work( Not to mention the two rear seats are unusable as the puppies have eaten through the seatbelts).

    A mayday call to my Mum has been made and she is now going to drive the three hours to help me out of the pickle I am in.

    Am I going to be able to pull this off? Who knows but there will definitely be the reward of wine at the end of it all.

  • No Winners, No relaxing, some weekends are just like that…

    I can confirm the shit show eased. The boys all returned safely with a very average fish each to weigh in. No prizes were won. I remained the Secretary even though I didn’t want the job any longer. The weather remained overcast and dull.

    The hilarity of the weekend was caused by Miss 12.My daughter and I watched Happy Gilmour 2 and on the boys return we decided to venture to the pub for dinner. There was a League game on and so the pub was fairly busy. As the lovely waitress bought us our meals balancing them on her arm Miss 12 decided to demonstrate the Golf Swing out of the movie. Somehow that waitress managed to capture the flying plate as it was knocked out of her hand, save the burger and only a few chips landed on the floor.

    Miss 12 was so embarrassed and the boys gave her shit about it for the rest of the night. No harm done…thank goodness.

    As we travelled home on the Sunday, Hubby and I reflected on the weekend. It was good, but it wasn’t great. We didn’t feel rested, relaxed or like we connected with friends. It was an odd feeling. We were grateful for the quality time with the kids and friends but we felt it had lacked the usual fun. Probably a reflection of the crazy week we had leading up to it. I felt as though I needed a weekend at home to recover from the weekend away. Sometimes it’s a bit like that and that is okay.

  • A Shit Show of a start to the weekend…

    It’s our annual club weekend for the fishing club that we are in. I somehow landed myself the role of Secretary and Treasurer a number of years ago and as much as I have tried to give the job away no one wants it.

    The lead up started Thursday night with hubby working on the boat and me realising that we didn’t have enough clean washing to pack. Just typical Mum problems. While what felt like 5 loads were washing and drying I polished cups, cooked Thursday and Friday’s dinner and unloaded the Months worth of groceries that I forgot I had ordered to be delivered.

    Friday morning arrived way too fast and we thought we could plough through the days work and hopefully get away about 3ish. Haha the day turned out to be a shit show and we finally hit the road at 4.45 . Now it’s a two hour drive and our AGM was due to start at 7. Packed in the back of our ute were all the Club trophies. I spent the trip praying for no hold ups and we arrived with 5 minutes to spare.

    Hubby got to reverse our 6 metre boat into a tight gap with a crowd of onlookers. No pressure at all thankfully he nailed it with no swearing or damage involved. If you know you know.

    Saturday morning rolls around and it’s minus 2 degrees and freezing. Not a chance I’m going fishing in these temps so off the boys went and us girls stayed in the warm.

    As I am making a coffee I notice Hubby’s phone still on charge… FFS. Let’s hope it’s an uneventful boating trip and that they land some winning fish.

  • Is kids sport worth it?

    This is our 14 year old son. He begged from the age of 6 to be allowed to ride Moto. We managed to say no for another 4 years. Looking back on this decision I have no idea why we said no. I think it was some preconceived ideas about the cost and danger involved.

    Yes it’s dangerous ! Yes it’s damn expensive! Yes it is really cold in Winter! Yes it’s really hot in Summer! Yes he is making friends for life! Yes he loves it!

    Yesterday we were up at crazy O’clock to head out of town to a Motocross event. This is our weekend most weekends. I found myself wondering why we do it? Chances are he will never be number one. I have no idea what skills this is teaching him that he might use in the future as he has no idea what he wants to do. Are there other things I could be doing with tens of thousands of dollars a year?

    There are days like yesterday when he comes off the track buzzing. Has great races and finishes with a podium and his body intact. Laughs with his mates and we all celebrate victories.

    Then there are days when he crashes, things don’t go right, things get damaged and a body worn down. It’s not just sore muscles the next day but bruises too… I don’t know if I would get back on the bike after these days but he does…every time.

    He is developing the virtues of resilience, courage, commitment, determination, perseverance, responsibility and self- discipline. Is that what sport is about- creating an avenue to develop strengths and weaknesses. If that is the case then yes it is worth it.

  • Bartering- old fashioned or a way forward?

    We did a job at work for a very regular customer and yesterday. Not a big job just a quick and easy fix. A couple of hours later he came back into work with fish for us. Now if you live in NZ you know that fish is bloody expensive. It really doesn’t matter if you buy it or go out fishing for it. It is costly.

    So I was so grateful to have a meal of fish that would have cost us $50 if I had purchased it. Although being honest I wouldn’t have purchased it because I would deem it too expensive.

    Everyone thoroughly enjoyed the fish burgers and there was plenty leftover for lunches today. The dogs even enjoyed a small piece each.

    It got me thinking though. “How much could we reduce our groceries if we shared what we had? How much waste would be reduced if we shared what we had? How much time would be saved if we cooked in bulk and shared it?

    We often share surplus with others in Summer when there is a surplus of fruit available but honestly it’s never gone any further than that. Is it really an old fashioned way of trading goods and services or could we benefit from it? Hubby said it never works because the transactions are not equal. The exact reason money was brought in in the first place.

    What if we started sharing more of what we had without expecting anything in return. Would people then feel that they had to repay you?

  • Meet the Frugalwoods & Why/

    This book spoke to me! I am currently reading it again after getting to the end on Friday. It basically told the story of what I want to achieve. Having a why as to where you are heading on your journey is so important. Sometimes I feel as though my goals are just not even realistic and so to read about others achieving it really helped me focus on yes. This is achievable. It won’t look like their journey did as the cost of living in NZ is completely different from where they were. It will be our journey.

    My husband has worked every weekend for the last three and juggled kids sports in between so he can try and be there. This morning he said, “I don’t want to go to work today”. I could hear in his voice how much he meant it and I thought this is why we are on this journey. He very rarely complains about having to work and is the hardest worker I know by far. I am so proud of everything he has built up with our business and how hard he has worked to get us here but we can’t continue to work at the pace we are doing something that we really don’t like doing.

    This is my why. This is what keeps me focused. It’s what keeps me saying “No” when the kids are nagging for takeaways or treats. Don’t worry they aren’t completely deprived. They get plenty of treats…takeaways not so much.

    When you have a strong why then it makes staying the course so much easier. Especially on those days when you question whether it’s all worth it.

    When I started this journey I had no idea where it was heading and therefore decided to learn as much as I possibly could. Read everything I could find. Take the information that spoke to me and discard what didn’t. The journey is slowly becoming clearer. At the beginning I knew there would be a financial aspect to it but I didn’t realise it would .be the glue that allows the freedom to all come together.